2.20.2017

Dirt

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"Wouldn't it be nice," he said, looking over the mountain range stretching across the clear blue sky, "if we could get our acreage out here? Like, same set up and buildings, same house, same size, for the same price? And with the same soil, too."

It wasn't the first time I'd heard it.



We're really enjoying this Colorado adventure of ours- interesting jobs, the chance to meet people from all over, the beautiful views- but I do feel a little homesick for our little Iowa acreage.

I love our acreage. The pond, the long pasture grass, worn red barn wood, my yellow kitchen with the original hardwood floors... it's home.



And while I agree that it would be pretty awesome if we could find the same thing out here in Iowa, I can't help but be amused by my husband's way of thinking.

The soil. He'd want the same soil.

You can take the farm boy away from his dirt, but you can't take the dirt out of the mind of the farm boy, I suppose.

And it's just another one of those things that I'm now surprisingly familiar with... the city-girl inside of me shakes her head that I know exactly what he means. Soil is important.

As I write this, I'm looking out the window of our Colorado home, with snow melted away by the unusually warm weather this week, seeing the scrubby tufts of grass and the low lying shrubs in our yard. Nothing like the lush green of back in Iowa-- and it's because of the soil.

It's rocky here- dry, rocky, sandy-colored instead of the dark black richness of back in Iowa.

It makes a difference. There's a reason Iowa farmland produces so much and farms are few here where we are in Colorado. The soil.


2.17.2017

Blessings this Week: 02.17.2017

It's already time to recap the week!



The week started with a much-needed snowstorm. I answered calls and drank coffee in my nice cozy house and watched the snow fall.

...   ...   ...   ...   ...

2.13.2017

Unexpected



I'm beginning to believe that positive pregnancy tests are actually just a deep rooted myth.

Nobody actually gets those two pink lines, right? It's all just an elaborate fairy tale. Because after almost four years of this, I've certainly never seen it.

Without getting into too many details, this past month was pretty disappointing. All the signs pointed to the strong possibility that I actually ovulated (which doesn't usually happen), there was some personal significance of this particular month, and I was so, so hopeful.

But the month came and went with a garbage can full of stark white pregnancy tests, and once again I'm disappointed.

As I lay on my husband's arm feeling sorry for myself, I noticed that he didn't seem nearly as crestfallen. Two years ago, that would have made me angry... but in the past few years I'm understanding that my husband lacks something that I cling to so tightly-

Expectations. 

2.06.2017

Sheep without a Shepherd: Interrupted

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If I had to describe my day today in two words, they would be "Constantly Interrupted."

Yep.

Just as soon as I was starting a project, the phone would ring. And then as soon as that call had ended... the phone would ring. In the middle of a super busy check in? Ring, ring, ring.

All. Day. Long.

And for even for someone with a personality like mine (people-pleasing perfectionist), there was only so much I could handle before I started getting seriously grouchy. Couldn't I get just one thing done today?? Why can't people call at convenient times?!?

And unfortunately, my frustration was becoming evident with the way I answered the phones. Short, direct answers, impatience... and it was my husband who called it to my attention.

"Smile," he said. "They can hear your smile through the phone."

I did not want to smile.

I wanted all these people to just leave me alone.

2.03.2017

Blessings this Week: 02.03.2017

This week, I watched the series finale of the TV show "The Office."

Now, to be fair, I've seen the entire series about three times (thanks to Netflix and a habit of watching an episode or two before bed every night), but I've never seen the finale. Ever. Because I'm strange like that.

I finally got over my weirdness and actually watched it this week. I did cry. I realize I'm still a weirdo.

But one line that I thought was especially profound was when the character Andy said, "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you actually leave them."

How true.

And here I am, in the middle of all this busy and all the little tiny details of each day and I forget the big picture sometimes. I'm so focused in keeping my nose to the grindstone that I forget to look up and notice.





2.01.2017

Social Media and Boundaries: My 3 Don'ts and 2 Do's of Facebook

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The other night, as I settled into my flannel sheets (I may have a problem) and got ready for some much anticipated snoozin', I noticed that I was feeling... restless. And a little angry.

It wasn't a specific emotion, really... just a vague sense of tension and conflict and annoyance... and I was having trouble pinpointing it.

What was it that was irritating me?

And then I realized-- the comments section.

Yep.

Just moments before, right before I'd put my phone on its charger for the night, I'd quickly swiped into Facebook and found myself embroiled in a political discussion, and the comments my relative had made were so far off base... and while I didn't reply, I just knew she was wrong and boy did it get my ire up.

It seems to me (and maybe I'm just especially sensitive to it right now, I don't know) that tension and conflict and anger are reigning supreme these days. It certainly seems that way on my social media feeds. And it's affecting me.

I think it's time to admit that it's affecting me.