Sheep without a Shepherd: Scattered Flocks

"Okay, well... give me a call if you need me," he said, lifting his backpack by the strap to sling it over his shoulder.

"I will do that- and expect to put in some hours around Spring Break," I replied.

It was eerie. This was the third of these conversations I'd had in about ten minutes, and it was making me sad. Because while I was somewhat relieved that the insanely busy season had come to an end, it also meant saying goodbye.

I didn't have enough work anymore for ten young men (and one young woman)- didn't have hundreds of guests a day or dozens of tours to fill their time.

And that meant that these people I'd come to care about- these ones smelling of two stroke exhaust and gasoline and snow- were leaving to go back and find work somewhere else. Scattering.

Blessings this Week: 01.27.2017

Going home while it's still light outside

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Introducing... The Notebook

If you've known me for any length of time, you know that I lug around a binder everywhere I go.

Even after getting a smartphone, the binder remained my planner of choice.

I love that thing.

But this Christmas, a mysterious package arrived under the tree... and by "mysterious," I mean "came in an Amazon shipping pouch."

It taunted me until December 25 finally arrived, and I opened the package to reveal....

My Future.

(Too dramatic? Probably too dramatic.)

Sheep without a Shepherd: Leadership and Riding Behind the Guide

"So, there aren't any tours without a guide?"

It's one of the most common questions I hear since beginning my new job here at a snowmobile touring company, and it's the most interesting, in my opinion.

Our tours are all guided- meaning that when you make a reservation with us, we not only provide the gear and the snowmobile, but we also give you the most valuable thing of all-- a guide.

But so many people don't see it that way.

They want to be able to rip around on the trails on their own, unguided.

I'm not really sure why, in all actuality.

There are so many hazards out there- tree stumps and sharp turns and places where the snowdrifts are too deep to dig out of, should they happen to drive off the trail. A guide not only points out the trouble ahead, but also leads the way so the group doesn't get lost. They're there in case the guests forget the instructions or forget how to run the machine. They point out the cool stuff on the trails so the guests don't miss it. They're right there in case of trouble or a question about the machines.

The guides are the most important part of the tour.

Blessings this Week: 01.20.2017

The "smartphone photos only" version.

You're welcome for the poor quality photography.

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After weeks and weeks of all work and only a little play (because, let's be honest... our work is basically play, since we work at a snowmobile touring company... so...), we had Monday off. Off!

It was so wonderful.

Why We Have to Do Hard Things {Guest Post}

I like things in life to remain at one setting: easy. I like slow mornings with multiple cups of coffee. I like to have a fuzzy blanket and a couch on standby at all times. I like Netflix binges, bubble baths that last for hours, and multiple days off in a row. I am addicted to the idea of "easy".



Don't get me wrong; when there's something that I am passionate about, I work hard and put time into it. But any time that something becomes difficult, my mind is a carousel of grumbling and complaining. I grab on to a sense of entitlement that tells me that life could be easier if I were more like ___, if I had more money, if I didn't have to deal with _____.

Hope

I come to this space, finally- a white space in my day that feels so familiar, and I'm rusty. My words aren't coming like they used to. I'm dry.

As I look at my hands on the keyboard just now, I notice a silver ring on my right thumb. She said it symbolizes "hope," and I can't help but think about a weekend only two short months ago.



My aunt was dying.

Trevor and I flew out to see her, to say goodbye. The cancer moved quickly, and I still didn't really believe that she would actually be gone. How can a part of what makes you who you are just cease to be?

I had no idea what to expect. My experience with death, especially the death of a loved one, is so limited yet. I'd never visited a deathbed, not like this.

And so we went, and I was afraid, and when we got there- to that sacred place- everything was different.

Blessings this Week: 01.13.2017

Snowy days and views like these


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What I Read Instead

I am ridiculously, notoriously bad at reading the books on my reading list.

Like, seriously.

I envy the people who can put together a list of books to read and then actually get through the books on their lists. There are lots of people who do it. I am just not one of them.

Last year, I wrote out a list of books that I'd like to read in 2016, and I read exactly...

none.

None of them.

Nope.

I actually looked through that list again just now and went, "Ooooooh, yeah. I really want to read that!"

But just because I haven't gotten to any of the books I wanted to this year doesn't mean that I haven't been doing any reading. Its just, you know, none of the reading I planned on. Ha.

Small Things

Today, smiled at him.

I laughed at her joke.

I asked how his night was, and then I really listened.



Over the past four years, we've lived and worked and been surrounded by Bible Camp. It was wonderful. The encouragement and connections and easy conversation about faith... it was like another world. A delightful Christian bubble.

Which is just one more reason why we came here.

Living in Colorado didn't just mean a change of scenery- from cornfields to mountains- or a change of job, or home.

It meant a change in the people we're around.

Blessings these Weeks: 12.30.16 and 01.06.2017

Deep breaths and mountain air

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These weeks have been busy, full, breathless. And in the middle of all the chaos, blessings emerge slowly, subtle. And in the busy, I have to fight to find them.

White Space

I am just finishing up the busiest week of my entire life.

I'm being honest, here.

I thought working at a Bible Camp in the summer was crazy. Before that, I thought planning my wedding was crazy. I thought college, student teaching, and working overnight shifts all at the same time was crazy.

Nothing really prepared me for this kind of crazy.