It's been awhile, hasn't it- a while since I taught you English and grammar and how to read Shakespeare. Two years, I think.
I don't think you were expecting to see me walk into the restaurant where you work this lovely Saturday morning. It's always kind of weird to see teachers out of a classroom setting. I know it always felt Twilight-Zone-y to me.
A lot has changed- I'm not teaching anymore, for one. But I'd say things have changed for you even more.
That plain white canvas apron around your 17-year-old waist can't conceal the fact that you're carrying a heart below your own.
This is probably not what you wanted. Not what you planned.
Life rarely goes according to plan, not for any of us. You're learning that earlier than I did, I think.
Honestly, I'd hoped that you would finish school and go to college, get the job you always wanted, get married before you carried a heart below your own. This isn't what I'd hoped for you, either.
Please don't mistake the momentarily unveiled pain in my eyes for disappointment. That hurt has nothing to do with you. It's not pity or anger or judgment.
I'm not better than you, not at all. Just because my struggles and sins aren't held in front of me for the world to see doesn't mean they're not there.
To be completely honest, my pain comes mostly from a soul-level jealousy. It's the aching of the fact that my own life hasn't turned out the way I planned, either.
Life is always good.
Always a gift, always a blessing.
And I'm proud of you for recognizing that.
I'm proud of you for standing strong and taking responsibility- and for knowing that sometimes, those "mistakes," those missteps and wrong turns and not-so-great decisions, can bring about the greatest blessings of our lives.
That's what God does- works all those things for our good in the end. He's working good for you, too.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing this with us.
ReplyDeleteI had my daughter when I was barely 17. I always felt so judged. This is beautiful
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that having a little one while you were still a little one yourself must have been so hard. I'm sorry to hear that others made it harder with their negativity.
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ReplyDeleteLoved this! I feel like girls who get pregnant young are judged so harshly!
DeleteBeautifully written! Thank you for writing this!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! There needs to be more people with this heart!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautifully written post! God loves this girl and her sweet baby!
ReplyDeleteI hope that that little baby and that young woman are so loved by those in their lives. That's what young moms need. My husband was born when his mom was almost 16--I'm so grateful for her and the excellent man she raised.
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ReplyDeleteWe are pro-life. We say we value life in all forms. And yet. Once the decision is made for a young girl to have her baby rather than terminating the pregnancy, she usually fails to receive the support she needs from those of us who claim to value life. We need to be speaking life-giving truth to these young women who walk this road. A week after my 19th birthday I discovered I was pregnant. I was a bit older than your former student, but looking back, I was still such a little girl. My boyfriend and I were broke up and I was so scared. Afraid to tell my parents. Afraid to tell him. Worried what others would think and how I would be judged. We married, just because that's what you did in 1983 when you were pregnant, which was a 3 year disaster. But I've never regretted the decision to have my daughter, who at 31 years of age is one of my very best friends! Thank you for sharing this encouraging post. Perhaps others will be inspired to speak gently and lovingly to young, expectant moms.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story!
DeleteI'm so blessed to live in an area that provides awesome services for women who find themselves pregnant unexpectedly (and they provide resources for women after their little ones are born as well)- such a blessing, and a testament to the importance of life at ALL stages.
I encourage people to donate their time, prayers, and finances to crisis pregnancy centers in their area- it makes a difference!