Nothing I Expected

Growing up, I had an image of how my life was going to go. How my marriage would look.

I would get up in the morning in the city, kiss my 5'10" husband good-bye as he headed to the office, briefcase in hand. We'd come home from work and he'd tell me about his day, with clients or business partners or the board or something to do with architecture... something "office-y." We'd have a pleasant life.

Well, it's sort of like a briefcase, right?

To put it simply, none of that happened.

My marriage looks completely different than I expected.

I get up in the morning to the sound of wild turkeys in the woods near my house. I kiss my 6'5" husband good-bye as he heads to the shop, and then we see each other again about 5 minutes later at morning prayer... because we work together. He tells me about his day, with Roto-Rooters and sockets and wrenches and boat hoists that needed a new cable.

And I don't have a pleasant life. I have an amazing, vibrant life.

See, I had expectations. Nothing about my marriage meets my old expectations. My marriage is nothing that I expected; it's more than I could ever have dreamed. 

God had more in store for me.

I think that's something that I need to hold on to more often. I have these expectations, not about my marriage, anymore, but about how life is supposed to go. I have a mental checklist of the way I want my life to be.

Sometimes, that checklist is helpful and keeps me focused, especially when I can actually control the things I've inscribed there.

And sometimes, it makes me sad or frustrated, because I don't have control over so much of it.

God's already shown me once, though. He's shown me that my expectations are often far too limited. He's got a bigger plan for me. Not what I expected, no, but more than I could even dream.