My mom once told me that she cried on her honeymoon.
Not tears of joy. She was crying because her wedding was over.
Planning for that one special day had consumed so much of her time, she was kind of sad to see it come and go.
Getting all wrapped up in wedding planning can be a dangerous thing.
Not only do you run the risk of sobbing into a Cancun sunset, but I also know of one about-to-be bride who spent so much time and focus planning her wedding that by the time her wedding day got closer, she felt like she didn’t know her groom anymore. They eventually postponed the wedding all together.
To be sure, there’s a lot that goes into planning a wedding. The logistics, the housing, the invitations, the guest list, the decorations… it’s a lot. And if you’re not planning on spending a ton of money, you and your family members will most likely be doing a lot of the organization yourselves.
Focus and efficiency. If you’d like to keep a healthy relationship with God, with your family, and with your intended spouse, you’ll need both.
We talked about this a bit already, though::
During this planning time, instead of focusing only on the wedding, focus on your relationship.
The first step to a strong relationship is a strong you.
Spiritually:
Spend time with the Lord. Read His Word. Sit in silence, trust in prayer.
Join a small group or a Bible study, or work on a Bible study online or on your own. Make sure you're involved in a church. The things you make a priority now will follow you into marriage, so make your time with God a priority now.
Emotionally:
Getting married is a huge change, and taking time to care for yourself emotionally is important in that transition. Let yourself feel all the feels- excitement, sadness, fear, the bittersweet feelings of leaving your home and your family.
Don't run yourself ragged with wedding planning and shut down your feelings.
Give yourself some fun- find a comedian on Netflix who makes you do a deep belly laugh. Hang out with your goofy nieces. Watch funny cat videos on Youtube. It's for your own good, trust me.
Creatively:
Do. Something. Fun.
Not every craft project has to be wedding related. You can paint something that won't end up a centerpiece. Or maybe you are creative through words--- start a blog, craft a poem, write a devotion, write a letter to yourself five years from now.
Read a good book. Challenge yourself mentally.
Your identity is not a wedding- remember the things you used to do before wedding planning took over? Do those.
Physically:
For the love of everything, sleep.
Don't stay up so late working on wedding programs that you crash the next day. It's not healthy, it's not good for your emotions, and you'll be an unpleasant person. No one likes an unhappy bride.
Work off some of that stress by taking the dog for a walk- or, if you don't have a dog, take someone else's dog for a walk. Go swimming, play tennis, have an outrageous sister-dance-party-in-pajamas. You need to move and release that tension.
Relationally:
Call your grandma, call your mom, call your sister, call your college roommate. Focus on someone else's life for a few moments- wedding planning can turn your view inward more than is healthy.
And don't forget to spend time with your future husband. You’ll be spending your life with him- don't lose touch with him while you’re planning for one day!
Go on dates. Make memories. Laugh together, and do a little dreaming.
Don’t spend all your time talking about your wedding when you're together, either. Maybe your fiancé doesn’t mind hearing all about ribbon colors and DJ’s- good for you! My man was the opposite, which turned out to be in my favor, because that’s all I wanted to talk about, and if he had allowed me, I would have bored us both to death over eighteen months.
Either way, do something interesting together that doesn’t involve tulle or cupcakes or wedding bands.
Spend time in each of these areas, and trust me, you'll have much more interesting things to talk about then your wedding.
Don’t let wedding planning make you dull. Your fiancé fell in love with your sparkle- your wit, your smile, your intelligence, your sense of humor. Planning a wedding can strip you of those things if you let it.
Don’t let it.
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