An Intentional Engagement

His hands are shaking a little. He pulls the ring box from his pocket and he feels fluttering in his stomach as he kneels in front of her. The gravel poking his kneecap doesn’t even register in his mind.



Her heart starts racing and she feels like she must be dreaming all this.

It can’t be happening, can it?

Feeling a little like she did when she gave that speech in front of the entire class her freshman year of high school, she waits for him to say something, the air electric.

This is the moment. This is the story they’ll be telling for the next three months, the one they’ll share with their grandchildren.


He asks, and she says yes!




So... now what?


There’s kind of a vacuum that exists for people who are engaged. Not quite in the “married” circles, but definitely not in the “dating” scene.

Unfortunately, being engaged can be basically meaningless: a change in titles- from boyfriend and girlfriend to fiancé and fiancée and a glittery new ring, but nothing more.

I don’t think that a meaningless engagement is the desire or the intention of any couple, but making this in-between time really count is something that’s easily overlooked in the middle of the whirlwind of excitement and tulle and flower arrangements.



I’d challenge you to look past the glittery ring.

(I know that’s not easy. Trust me, I spent many a college lecture paying attention to only the rainbow spectrums my new diamond sent dancing across my notebook pages.)

But the challenge remains.

Look past holding hands with your future husband, past the happy smiles on the faces of your parents, the wedding magazines and dresses and calling all your friends to squeal and share in happiness. All of this is good and exciting...


But.


But what if you could make your engagement something more than all that?

What if you could make the days (or months or years) until you walk down that aisle towards your forever future- what if you could make those days count?

What if you could take your engagement and make it meaningful?

Your engagement can be about wedding planning- yes.

But it can be more. It can be a time when you build a strong foundation for your future.


You’ll notice that there’s lots of great marriage advice out there (and some terrible marriage advice... that’s another post), but there’s not a whole lot about making your betrothal a time of growth. I think that’s a mistake. That special “waiting” time has tremendous value.


I know that by working through an intentional engagement, you’re setting up habits to start your marriage off on the right foot. And, because the calling of marriage is truly centered around the Author and Perfecter of Love, preparing for a strong marriage will also draw you closer to Christ.


It all sounds nice, but how to make your engagement intentional?

We live in a Pinterest-saturated world. We compare ourselves to other people. We forget to keep the main thing the main thing.



I know. I’ve been there. Long ago enough to have learned and reflected, but not so long ago that I’m not quite sure I remember that engagement experience.

This little series of ours will go through the things I've learned, the things I did right, the things I did (so, so terribly) wrong. I pray that you can glean a little from it, and that it would be at least an encouragement that you're not the only one.