Why I Won't Be Seeing "50 Shades of Grey"

Disclaimer: This is just a quick post about a "hot topic"- not usually what I write about, but I thought it needed to be said. Of course, I'm not the only one saying it. If you'd like to read more about why this movie isn't a good choice, I've linked several articles to the end of this post.

Edited to Add: I won't be seeing "Magic Mike 2" or whatever it's called, either.

As Valentine's weekend approaches, my social media sites are buzzing not about pink or red, but about Grey- specifically about the movie coming out over the weekend- "50 Shades of Grey." 

I haven't read the book; I won't read the book. And I won't be seeing the movie. 

Some may argue that I can't really be writing about it- because I don't know. I haven't read it. How can I bash it unless I've read it? 

Well, I've certainly heard enough about it to know the basic premise.

I've also heard that cutting off your own arm with a spoon is painful... but I don't think I need to experience that firsthand in order to say that I wouldn't recommend it. 

And I'm not here to bash anything, really. There's a lot out there about this movie, about abuse and alternative sexual lifestyles and all kinds of things. About how feminists love it, about how feminists hate it. I'm not really going to get into any of that. I'm barely scratching the surface with this post, and I know it. I just want to explain why I won't be seeing it. Why I think that it's not right for me to see it. 

We know that porn affects men. Lots of studies have shown that it's a fact- the brain of a man who watches pornography is affected by it, and his relationships suffer. Pornography is seen as a major problem in most circles of Bible-believing, Christian men. 

But it's not a problem when women do the same thing? 

Here's the thing. As a (married, Christian) woman, I believe that sex is sacred. It's between me and my husband- just the two of us- as a gift from God that brings us together. I don't want my husband to cheapen our connection by watching or looking at porn. It's one way that he honors me and our marriage- by practicing self control and keeping his mind pure. 

I think a lot of Christian women are of the same mindset, there. I know that if I found my husband using pornography, I'd be hurt and feel disrespected. 

And yet. 

And yet many Christian women think that there isn't anything wrong with seeing this movie, with reading this book, to the point where we're posting things on our Facebook walls, making plans with friends to get to the theater right when it comes out, laughing and making jokes. 

What? 

What?

How is that any different from our husbands watching pornography? We're degrading our marriage beds, cheapening our sex lives with our husbands, not to mention lapsing severely in the realm of self-control (and wisdom! Where's the wisdom?). 

I choose to honor my husband by keeping our sexual life sacred. I choose to respect him by keeping my mind (and body) pure- not because I'm a boring stick-in-the-mud, not because I'm a prude, not because I'm forced to do so because of an oppressive patriarchal society- but because I love him, and because I expect the same respect and honor from him. 

Honestly, it's difficult enough to protect the holiness of our union as it is- between the movies and the magazine ads and TV shows (why do they always have sex before marriage?!?!?) and simple, sinful human nature. Why go looking for trouble? Why would I place temptations to violate my purity (mental or physical) right in front of me? 

I want to honor God, and honor my husband, in everything I do. I screw up at that, every single day- (thank God for grace and forgiveness)- but this one is a really easy decision for me. There are lots of decisions that are complicated, and sometimes I make the wrong one.

But this decision? It's pretty black and white (pun intended).

Other articles about "50 Shades": 

(Please note- some of these articles do contain graphic descriptions of the movie and situations the movie portrays- I've noted these with a star.)

50 Things to Do on Valentine's Day Instead of Seeing 50 Shades of Grey

*The Dangers of 50 Shades of Grey (this is on a secular, non-Christian site)

Women Reading 50 Shades of Grey More likely to have Abusive Partners (also on a secular site- has an embedded video link with the trailer for the movie)

Uncovering the Lies in "50 Shades of Grey"

You Need More Reasons Not to Watch 50 Shades? Fine. Here they Are. (a little snarky in tone, but makes good points.)

*50 Things You Should Know about 50 Shades of Grey

And About Magic Mike:

Magic Mike and Women's Libidos-- actually about the first movie, but you get the idea